2018-2019; *Hello to recovering survivors, *all those who care for and help us, and fans of the 6/six, Princess Leia Lucas®, Foundations
****Welcome to #Princess #Leia’s New Memory Site– where I discover that I’m…actually a movie character who popped off the screen, instead of a live person? WHAT?!!! ….No, I’m kidding. However, I have recovered from a life of dissociation – caused by trauma. And yes, that’s my real name, and I’m a Lucas per my DNA records, You bet.
****WHAT IS DISSOCIATION? ****This means I did not remember my full identity because I was living in my main core personality, and also a separate part of it which my memory had blocked off, so I could tolerate abuse, without remembering it. That is, we don’t remember the trauma / abuse until we’re ready, strong enough, and in a safe place. My brain reduced my memory to a smaller portion of my time, maybe 20%, so that I could keep living with the trauma – without knowing this. In this way, I lost access to my core or true identity, until I was able to work through all the traumas. And, because victims are typically blamed for the abuse we receive, our brains teach us that this is our fault, which explains to us why we’re treated differently than others, while forcing us to learn to deal with it, chronically. The advantage of this brain response is that we actually feel we have some power and control, rather than being left feeling powerless and hopeless. It also trains us to expect abuse, and believe it’s “normal”, instead of understanding that we have been taught to be victims. And, being a victim is all we know, so it feels “normal” to us. Yep, very tricky and confusing. And, my core self / brain came to understand all this, even without having processed all the traumas, at the same time that the 20% portion of myself that I remembered, did not have this conscious knowledge, so didn’t have to deal with it. What?! Yep, it’s true. A large part of me remembered, while smaller part of me still did not. It’s a process with all the memory connections being remade over time. We have to be out of the abuse, and have enough time to focus on us, in order for the brain to process information, make connections, and “heal” us. And yes, this process is highly effective. In my case, my two “parts” also had different (legal) names, which also helped me normalize my lack of memory / awareness.
—-Therefore, for many years, until about 2010 when I completed the “processing”, of my traumas, I didn’t always know why I was doing things. However, my brain had learned to “fill in” any missing time, so that I could be fully functional, without all the confusion you would expect. The concept of “processing” refers to knowing what happened with each trauma, trying to determine why it happened, feeling it, and thinking through how it effected us, at the time, as well as long term when combined with everything else about us. Yep, this takes a lot of time and focus, which is why it’s good to talk about it, a lot, and write down as much as possible. And know this, dissociation by itself has many types, and is known to effect 1 in every 50 people, (a NAMI collected statistic), while “personality” disorders as a whole are known to effect 1 in 4 people, (at least). That’s a lot more of us than people think. Unfortunately, this 25%+ of the population then becomes easy to target by abusers who criminalize, and victimize us. Please, let’s help each other.
—What’s normal is that All of us have a variety of personality “parts”, which are sometimes referred to as “attributes”, and which contain correlated brain processes to be used in different circumstances. These “parts” may be based on the different and strong feelings that people evoke in us, based on our joint history together, plus a framework of our memories of all kinds of similar experiences. When combined, these are known as “context”. The events of our lives then become stored in various sections of the brain, in pieces, (images here, smells there) which become backed up and available to be retrieved in complex ways. Then, as needed, and at intervals, we analyze and synthesize all of this information in different contexts, until we reach conclusions about how to respond to all of this, known as “processing”. That’s right. When we’re traumatized, we lose this ability to process, which is exactly what saves us.
****MORE ON MINIMIZING: ****The brains of trauma survivors separate basic memory storage, access and retrieval processes into different, disconnect locations of the brain, on purpose. In this way we minimize our knowledge of traumas and how they’re effecting our lives. This lack of response actually allows us to live in chronically abusive situations by accepting them as “normal”. And yet, we know that we are receiving different reactions to our behavior than other people do. Therefore, our brains tell us that we’re not as good as others, which is why we deserve such disrespect. And, this attitude then allows us to be on the alert, and prepared to manage the extent of the abuse and trauma we receive.
****TRAUMA – MAKES YOU A HERO! ****I have said this many times, and always will. If you have been traumatized, and suffer from anxiety, and / or depression, PTSD, whatever, I guarantee that you’re a hero. At the very least, you saved yourself in some kind of life, and/or sanity threatening situation, which caused the anxiety. And, trauma situations usually involve other people who are also in danger, or are abusers, (or both). This means you probably risked yourself to save others in danger, and/or the abusers as well, (known as Stockholm Syndrome, and the responding, Lima, Peru Syndrome, which are common to certain types of relationships). So BRAVO! THANK YOU. And know that if you’ve been in a relationship such as this, there’s the opportunity for you both to end up recovering by finding that balanced, middle ground with normal, separate and caring boundaries. And, this also means that trauma survivors will often do whatever it takes to show genuine human caring, no matter what, which makes you a hero, yet again. (I’m reminded of the song, “Beautiful Trauma”, by Pink.) It’s okay to be proud of you, and your recovery!
****WHAT ABOUT TODAY? Me? ****Well, I’m running the 6/six, Princess Leia Lucas® (PLL) Foundations, (see below, also www.PrincessLeiaLucas.org, ; 2) International Foundation of Neuroscience and Brain Technology®, or IFNBT®, (see www.IFNBT.org); 3) Life Force Recovery®; (See www.LifeForceRecovery.org); 4) FOSTER®, Foundation Offering Survivors of Trauma Education & Recovery®, www.FOSTERFoundationOfferingRecovery.org) ; 5) the RIGHTS® Commissions, (website to come); and now, we’re relaunching a new, interactive publishing website for: 6) Princess Leia NEWS!® (Will be at www.PrincessLeiaNEWS.com).
Yeah, I kinda keep busy. Our foundations are helping other trauma survivors, so they won’t need too many years to, “find the TOTAL self after trauma©”, or be left without adequate supports, (as happened to me). ***And what about you? What’s going well for you, and what could we help with? How can we help each other? What questions do you have for us? PLEASE CONNECT and ask! And remember, life depends on caring for each other, offering support, and remembering to smile and laugh when you can!
***Wait a minute….Don’t my initials make me a PLL, …instead of a Sex Toy? NO wait, that’s the other Princess Leia, the movie goddess. Oops. But, hey, I like those movies. Still, I have to ask you guys out there: What’s with the “metal bikini”? Would any self-respecting woman actually wear that thing? HUH?! How would I go to the bathroom!? YO–Duh! …. Anyway. It wasn’t metal. It was yellow fabric with brass rings around it. I swear. Can I help it if….you know who… exaggerates EVERY-thing? Yeah, he does. Like, what’s the deal with making our good friend into a life-size robot, (See-3, Pee Od!?), who looks like a large OSCAR TROPHY, hint hint!? And, wait till you hear what Harrison said when he found out his American hero, Indiana Jones, is actually…A DOG! A dog who belonged to….you know who, again, and, OMG!….What? Well yeah, I knew the dog. Yeah, he was amazing….and brilliant…and competent. Yeah, we did have a LOT of fun together. Sure. He was SUPER friendly. He even rescued people! (such as his owner!). HE DID! And…..he was always there – when you needed him…and…and... What? ….. WHAT? …… OKAY FINE. I’ll answer you…. I’M CRYING CAUSE I MISS HIM! …So there.
****WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE, PRINCESS LEIA LUCAS®? (What’s the R with the circle thing?) Well. Try getting a driver’s license, or social security card with my real name. “No, I don’t look like Ms. Fisher, (she’s the cousin who’s pretty, though we’re both shorties). No, I don’t require a spaceship license, for Alderaan or California. No, George is NOT my twin or brother, (though our other cousin, R. Lucas of Stanford University, did try to adopt both of us). Do I know him? Of course. Were we ever married? Well….um …(maybe I should have left my memory on that other planet!).”
POTS of Leia Love to you, (see, I told you –I’m a PLL!)
Together we are one. The Force is YOU.©
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